I have a problem.
I am a note slut.
I'll do anything for a note.
I don't care if they are belligerent
I don't care if they're condescending
I don't care if they are cloyingly sweet or pitying
I.Don't.Care.
I just want to see them
Pages
And pages
And pages of them
An unbroken sea.
So oblige me.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Cretin
Dear X,
You're propensity for violent behavior coupled with your lowbrow tendency to communicate in monosyllabic grunts leads me to believe that you are the missing link. Hence, when you die I will desecrate your grave and wallow in the scientific prestige that is sure to follow.
Yours truly,
S
You're propensity for violent behavior coupled with your lowbrow tendency to communicate in monosyllabic grunts leads me to believe that you are the missing link. Hence, when you die I will desecrate your grave and wallow in the scientific prestige that is sure to follow.
Yours truly,
S
The Secret
They said you were drowning
Stuck in a whirlpool, being sucked under
I charged down the beach
I fought the tide
I pulled you out to the saftey of shore
A hero they said!
Such vim!
Such valor!
But there's more...
Yes. More.
Do you want to know?
Do you want to hear?
...Lean closer then. Let me spell it in your ear
The secret, my secret is this my dear...
Although I tossed the first life saver I could acquire
I privately hoped the hole in its middle would inspire.
Stuck in a whirlpool, being sucked under
I charged down the beach
I fought the tide
I pulled you out to the saftey of shore
A hero they said!
Such vim!
Such valor!
But there's more...
Yes. More.
Do you want to know?
Do you want to hear?
...Lean closer then. Let me spell it in your ear
The secret, my secret is this my dear...
Although I tossed the first life saver I could acquire
I privately hoped the hole in its middle would inspire.
The Untalented Mrs. Ripley
Dear God. Does everyone know how to play the stinkin' piano except me?!
In malls, on college campuses, everywhere- people play!
Undistinguished, regular looking blokes.
Housewives, students, bums.
If only my gifted fingers would fling themselves into a fugue at the mere sight of a grandstand....
But no.
Hence, I remain respectfully yours,
The Untalented Mrs. Ripley
In malls, on college campuses, everywhere- people play!
Undistinguished, regular looking blokes.
Housewives, students, bums.
If only my gifted fingers would fling themselves into a fugue at the mere sight of a grandstand....
But no.
Hence, I remain respectfully yours,
The Untalented Mrs. Ripley
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Math Lesson/Cosmo's Equation for Lasting Love
Cosmo maintains that in relationships f(x)=∞
In other words for a relationship to be worthwhile and long lasting there must be frequent sessions of F. As it turns out F- the intimate, physical aspect of a relationship is more important than we all thought. No man can be remain faithful to you more than a day without it. Therefore we as women have the responsibility, nay deep duty, to make sure F is frequent and good. That we are competent masters of it in order to please our men. How can we do that?
Well F is a function of x- the mystery and mystique that a woman should have.
In order to improve and preserve F a women must first find and preserve that mystique, that je ne sais quoi, that undefinable something that makes her desirable to men.
World hunger, inequality and genocide aside the altruistic folks down at Cosmo have fully dedicated themselves to helping women everywhere cultivate and maintain the invaluable asset x!
According to a back issue of theirs this involves randomly showing up at my husband's office in nothing but a trench coat just in case he's thinking of straying. I must do this even if I'm over the hill and experiencing the inevitable gravitational pull that comes from coming down the other side of it.
Other novel suggestions from them include wrapping myself in saran wrap as a Valentines day gift for my man. Good stuff.
But what cosmo- in all their wonderful noble efforts to educate the feminine masses- has forgotten is that x is a dependent variable. Dependent upon what you may ask. Upon the variable y as in why the hell should we the feminine masses care?! If anyone knows the answer to this question please feel free to drop me a line. I'm still waiting for them to address it. Until they do I regret to inform you that their readership, however large it may be, will still remain x-1.
In other words for a relationship to be worthwhile and long lasting there must be frequent sessions of F. As it turns out F- the intimate, physical aspect of a relationship is more important than we all thought. No man can be remain faithful to you more than a day without it. Therefore we as women have the responsibility, nay deep duty, to make sure F is frequent and good. That we are competent masters of it in order to please our men. How can we do that?
Well F is a function of x- the mystery and mystique that a woman should have.
In order to improve and preserve F a women must first find and preserve that mystique, that je ne sais quoi, that undefinable something that makes her desirable to men.
World hunger, inequality and genocide aside the altruistic folks down at Cosmo have fully dedicated themselves to helping women everywhere cultivate and maintain the invaluable asset x!
According to a back issue of theirs this involves randomly showing up at my husband's office in nothing but a trench coat just in case he's thinking of straying. I must do this even if I'm over the hill and experiencing the inevitable gravitational pull that comes from coming down the other side of it.
Other novel suggestions from them include wrapping myself in saran wrap as a Valentines day gift for my man. Good stuff.
But what cosmo- in all their wonderful noble efforts to educate the feminine masses- has forgotten is that x is a dependent variable. Dependent upon what you may ask. Upon the variable y as in why the hell should we the feminine masses care?! If anyone knows the answer to this question please feel free to drop me a line. I'm still waiting for them to address it. Until they do I regret to inform you that their readership, however large it may be, will still remain x-1.
I Am A Star
Dear X,
I am a star. You are a black hole. Do you know dear child, what a black hole is? It is a collapsed star- infinitely dense and with an infinite mass. With that in mind perhaps you should lay off the Cheetos.
Best Regards,
S
I am a star. You are a black hole. Do you know dear child, what a black hole is? It is a collapsed star- infinitely dense and with an infinite mass. With that in mind perhaps you should lay off the Cheetos.
Best Regards,
S
Monday, March 10, 2008
The Good Thing About Being Bad....
...is that almost nothing else makes a person feel as various and new.
Certainly being good doesn't. As a matter of fact it's quite wearisome after a while and oh such a bore. My life has been so unentertaining as of late, I've got to check my pulse sometimes just to be sure I have one.
What I need is a deeply deviant act to get it racing, to rouse me from my catatonic stupor.
And by deeply deviant I mean something along the lines of an unreturned library book or *looks around anxiously* a pulled fire alarm.
So if you hear any reports of disaster large or small you know who is responsible- my deep ennui which if left unchecked will no doubt reach titanic proportions by the end of the day.
Certainly being good doesn't. As a matter of fact it's quite wearisome after a while and oh such a bore. My life has been so unentertaining as of late, I've got to check my pulse sometimes just to be sure I have one.
What I need is a deeply deviant act to get it racing, to rouse me from my catatonic stupor.
And by deeply deviant I mean something along the lines of an unreturned library book or *looks around anxiously* a pulled fire alarm.
So if you hear any reports of disaster large or small you know who is responsible- my deep ennui which if left unchecked will no doubt reach titanic proportions by the end of the day.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Favorite Quotes
As this is my third entry and I'm already at a loss as to what to write I'm drawing inspiration from a few quotes I think are true...The first is this
When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you- Nietzsche
Now I've read some of Nietzsche's writings and I don't like him, nor do I agree with most of his views. In his book "Beyond Good and Evil" he unleashes some serious vitriol against women as selfish, vain creatures concerned only with themselves. Frankly, I think these views are just a result of his own unrequited love for a particular woman who refused to marry him despite his best efforts. He needs to give it a rest though. He can't take his failings out on an entire sex comprising 51% of the population.
I also dislike his whack ideas about the "superman." Ideas which suggest an inate hierarchy among humans, smack of bigotry, and later turned out to make a fine basis for Nazism.
However, what he says about the abyss is true. You can only stay in a poor or negative environment so long before "the abyss looks into you" or begins to affect who you are for the worse. I've found this to be true. When I'm around people who aren't good people I by necessity become less than nice in order to deal with them. It's know it's not a good thing to do because then I'm stooping to their level but it inevitably happens unless one make a concerted effort to stop it.
Here's another Nietzsche quote. This is by far my favorite because I think it applies to a lot one might encounter in life.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Nietzsche
It's true that the individual has to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe on a lot of different levels. For almost any life decision one might be confronted with there exists a decision endorsed by the majority and the majority exerts pressure either active or tacit on everyone that does not accept its opinion. Society as a whole as well as it's every cross section has its own ideas about what a person should hold in esteem or value. In some circles it's money and the acquisition of material things, in other circles it's higher education, in yet others spirituality or worship of God. Regardless of what circle a person finds themself in though they will meet pressure to live their life according to the values of that particular "tribe."
But a person has to go their own route. When you do that- walk an untrodden path by yourself it is lonely and frightening because you don't know exactly how it will work out and because people older and more experienced may tell you're going the wrong way, building your life around the wrong things but you have only yourself to live for.
You can't live for your mother, your brother, your father, your best friend, neighbors, aquaintances- "the tribe." In the end when all your days are through it will be only you alone and your bitter regrets about things that would have left you more satisfied more fulfilled but which you didn't do because you were worried about what others had to say about it.
Deep regret is a terrible thing to have to die with so I'm sure Nietzsche is right when he says that no price too high to pay for the privilege of owning oneself. To always be cowering before others- kneeling to suit their needs and whims, arbitarily allowing it to curtail your own will and desires- is no way to live. It is rough to be lonely, to walk alone, to have to hear the misgivings or scorn others may have for you but I prefer to put up with it and know I am my own person and that in deed and truth, not just thought I held to the values and principles I felt most important in life. Which leads me to my next quote.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. -Mark Twain
I find this more humorous than anything. I love Mark Twain. Anyone who hasn't read him might begin with "Huckleberry Finn" or "Pudd'nHead Wilson". He's quite hilarious at times and "Pudd'nHead Wilson" includes a calendar at the beginning of each chapter with funny quotes. It's a very engaging tale about the murder of a prominent judge and a white boy and a slave swapped at birth....
When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you- Nietzsche
Now I've read some of Nietzsche's writings and I don't like him, nor do I agree with most of his views. In his book "Beyond Good and Evil" he unleashes some serious vitriol against women as selfish, vain creatures concerned only with themselves. Frankly, I think these views are just a result of his own unrequited love for a particular woman who refused to marry him despite his best efforts. He needs to give it a rest though. He can't take his failings out on an entire sex comprising 51% of the population.
I also dislike his whack ideas about the "superman." Ideas which suggest an inate hierarchy among humans, smack of bigotry, and later turned out to make a fine basis for Nazism.
However, what he says about the abyss is true. You can only stay in a poor or negative environment so long before "the abyss looks into you" or begins to affect who you are for the worse. I've found this to be true. When I'm around people who aren't good people I by necessity become less than nice in order to deal with them. It's know it's not a good thing to do because then I'm stooping to their level but it inevitably happens unless one make a concerted effort to stop it.
Here's another Nietzsche quote. This is by far my favorite because I think it applies to a lot one might encounter in life.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Nietzsche
It's true that the individual has to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe on a lot of different levels. For almost any life decision one might be confronted with there exists a decision endorsed by the majority and the majority exerts pressure either active or tacit on everyone that does not accept its opinion. Society as a whole as well as it's every cross section has its own ideas about what a person should hold in esteem or value. In some circles it's money and the acquisition of material things, in other circles it's higher education, in yet others spirituality or worship of God. Regardless of what circle a person finds themself in though they will meet pressure to live their life according to the values of that particular "tribe."
But a person has to go their own route. When you do that- walk an untrodden path by yourself it is lonely and frightening because you don't know exactly how it will work out and because people older and more experienced may tell you're going the wrong way, building your life around the wrong things but you have only yourself to live for.
You can't live for your mother, your brother, your father, your best friend, neighbors, aquaintances- "the tribe." In the end when all your days are through it will be only you alone and your bitter regrets about things that would have left you more satisfied more fulfilled but which you didn't do because you were worried about what others had to say about it.
Deep regret is a terrible thing to have to die with so I'm sure Nietzsche is right when he says that no price too high to pay for the privilege of owning oneself. To always be cowering before others- kneeling to suit their needs and whims, arbitarily allowing it to curtail your own will and desires- is no way to live. It is rough to be lonely, to walk alone, to have to hear the misgivings or scorn others may have for you but I prefer to put up with it and know I am my own person and that in deed and truth, not just thought I held to the values and principles I felt most important in life. Which leads me to my next quote.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. -Mark Twain
I find this more humorous than anything. I love Mark Twain. Anyone who hasn't read him might begin with "Huckleberry Finn" or "Pudd'nHead Wilson". He's quite hilarious at times and "Pudd'nHead Wilson" includes a calendar at the beginning of each chapter with funny quotes. It's a very engaging tale about the murder of a prominent judge and a white boy and a slave swapped at birth....
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Breakups
This is kinda heavy for a second post but a friend and I were discussing it the other day and it got me thinking.....
What does it mean if a couple breaks up or a friendship falls apart?
Personally I'm of the the opinion that everything which isn't enduring is nothing. I guess that's sort of a sweepingly pessimistic statement. My friend replied to it by saying that most things in life aren't enduring. I had to admit that was true but I think there's truth in my statement as well. People tend to portray love as being unstoppable, indomitable, able to overcome and prevail over all obstacles placed in it's way. I guess deep down I must somehow entertain this notion because if a relationship falls apart permanently I feel that somehow it must have been inherently flawed from the beginning.
Can you really call it love in it's truest form if it dissolves completely in a year, 5 years, 20? The true test of anything is time hence a love that falls apart is as worthless as if it had never existed.
On the other hand? Can any experience be entirely worthless insofar as they come to define who we are as a person? Even bad experiences can chasten us, refine us, teach us something...
A certain poet says "If there was something to remember there was nothing to regret." When I'm hurt by any life experience I like to pretend that's true. It makes me feel better even if deep down I can't fully believe it. It's a cathartic little indulgence to allows one self for a while.....
"For a while" are the operative words here because I can see how anyone who really believed this could spiral out of control and eventually self-destruct. That's ultimately what would happen if we as humans would stop qualifying/making value judgments about experiences and then shifting our actions in an effort to experience as much good as possible and avoid all bad. That quote encourages us to view experience with a certain numb neutrality that would leave a person either incredibly wounded in the end or totally jaded.
So what's the answer here?
As in most cases I think it lies somewhere between both camps. Life can't be a total free for all- we can't adjudge all experience and therefore the blind, unbridled pursuit of it to be good in and of itself.
On the other hand we can't curl up in a fetal position and hide from life be cause we're too afraid of experiencing something bad. Nor can we look upon every bad experience as valueless. There's truth and falsehood in both views.
I think, though, depending upon a person's disposition they'll find themself leaning more in one direction than in the other......
What does it mean if a couple breaks up or a friendship falls apart?
Personally I'm of the the opinion that everything which isn't enduring is nothing. I guess that's sort of a sweepingly pessimistic statement. My friend replied to it by saying that most things in life aren't enduring. I had to admit that was true but I think there's truth in my statement as well. People tend to portray love as being unstoppable, indomitable, able to overcome and prevail over all obstacles placed in it's way. I guess deep down I must somehow entertain this notion because if a relationship falls apart permanently I feel that somehow it must have been inherently flawed from the beginning.
Can you really call it love in it's truest form if it dissolves completely in a year, 5 years, 20? The true test of anything is time hence a love that falls apart is as worthless as if it had never existed.
On the other hand? Can any experience be entirely worthless insofar as they come to define who we are as a person? Even bad experiences can chasten us, refine us, teach us something...
A certain poet says "If there was something to remember there was nothing to regret." When I'm hurt by any life experience I like to pretend that's true. It makes me feel better even if deep down I can't fully believe it. It's a cathartic little indulgence to allows one self for a while.....
"For a while" are the operative words here because I can see how anyone who really believed this could spiral out of control and eventually self-destruct. That's ultimately what would happen if we as humans would stop qualifying/making value judgments about experiences and then shifting our actions in an effort to experience as much good as possible and avoid all bad. That quote encourages us to view experience with a certain numb neutrality that would leave a person either incredibly wounded in the end or totally jaded.
So what's the answer here?
As in most cases I think it lies somewhere between both camps. Life can't be a total free for all- we can't adjudge all experience and therefore the blind, unbridled pursuit of it to be good in and of itself.
On the other hand we can't curl up in a fetal position and hide from life be cause we're too afraid of experiencing something bad. Nor can we look upon every bad experience as valueless. There's truth and falsehood in both views.
I think, though, depending upon a person's disposition they'll find themself leaning more in one direction than in the other......
In The Beginning...
There was darkness
A blank expanse of page
And a girl
She said "Let there be words!"
And so they came...
A riot of them...
Pouring over hills, spilling out of valleys...
Uninhibited, without restaint
Until there came to be this
In her image, in her likeness and by her will....
A blank expanse of page
And a girl
She said "Let there be words!"
And so they came...
A riot of them...
Pouring over hills, spilling out of valleys...
Uninhibited, without restaint
Until there came to be this
In her image, in her likeness and by her will....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)