Cosmo maintains that in relationships f(x)=∞
In other words for a relationship to be worthwhile and long lasting there must be frequent sessions of F. As it turns out F- the intimate, physical aspect of a relationship is more important than we all thought. No man can be remain faithful to you more than a day without it. Therefore we as women have the responsibility, nay deep duty, to make sure F is frequent and good. That we are competent masters of it in order to please our men. How can we do that?
Well F is a function of x- the mystery and mystique that a woman should have.
In order to improve and preserve F a women must first find and preserve that mystique, that je ne sais quoi, that undefinable something that makes her desirable to men.
World hunger, inequality and genocide aside the altruistic folks down at Cosmo have fully dedicated themselves to helping women everywhere cultivate and maintain the invaluable asset x!
According to a back issue of theirs this involves randomly showing up at my husband's office in nothing but a trench coat just in case he's thinking of straying. I must do this even if I'm over the hill and experiencing the inevitable gravitational pull that comes from coming down the other side of it.
Other novel suggestions from them include wrapping myself in saran wrap as a Valentines day gift for my man. Good stuff.
But what cosmo- in all their wonderful noble efforts to educate the feminine masses- has forgotten is that x is a dependent variable. Dependent upon what you may ask. Upon the variable y as in why the hell should we the feminine masses care?! If anyone knows the answer to this question please feel free to drop me a line. I'm still waiting for them to address it. Until they do I regret to inform you that their readership, however large it may be, will still remain x-1.
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